THE SUN (XIX) in The Gothic Tarot of the Vampires
I finally got my Tarot decks unpacked after my recent move to CA from New York city and put away. (Those in nice boxes and crocheted pouches are out on my shelves, however.) So I decided to just go to one of the two drawers of Tarot decks, reach in without looking, and pull out one deck. Then I'd chose a card from that deck at random. I got a deck I've posted about here before, The Gothic Tarot of the Vampires (published by LoScarabeo, distributed by Llewellyn), but picked a card I've not worked with here yet, The Sun XIX:
My immediate thought was a wry "But vampires have to avoid the sun!" I didn't get much further than that in my response to the card so I went to the little white book ("LWB") that comes with the deck. This LWB happens to be one of the more frustratingly unclear ones I've read. But as I went through it a sense of what this card is saying to me began to surface, especially once I sat just looking at the card for a while.
The LWB addresses each Major Arcana by its traditional name, a change within the metaphor of the vampire journey, and divinatory meanings. The change within the vampire journey for XIX is "The Truth." This really hit me. This vampire is digging, down on his knees, exposing various stone shapes (which I associate to bed rock or truth), and (as the LWB says) going "beyond the surface of things," and he cannot do this in the light of regular consciousness. This feels to me much like my task in this life, to work in the twilight of consciousness, digging always, exposed and vulnerable, revealing my scars as I seek, and then sharing what minute portion of The Truth I am fortunate enough to uncover. Here is my dream work, and work with the Tarot and poetry images. In all I feel my way in the semi-dark toward some shape that begs exposure and/or sharing. Only ultimately to see a glimmer therein of disatisfaction, that then becomes the urge to dig again.
And why is all this important to me now? I've been feeling a bit of pressure recently (from myself maybe even more so than others) to pull back on this sort of "digging" or introspection, to "let go," for instance. Getting this card now encourages me not to do so. We each have our areas and ways of work. This twilight digging is my life's work. (It may be gritty, dusty work, but somebody's got to do it! :-D) Which puts me in mind of an old dreamku of mine:
for what's been buried
For comparison, here is The Sun in the Rider/Waite/Smith deck:
Very different images for The Sun card but, as I think on it, the "light" of full consciousness that XIX in the RWS deck has been said to represent can help us see beyond surfaces, also.
‘til next time, keep seeking truth and enjoying The Tarot,
[aka: Patricia Kelly]
****If you wish to copy or use any of my writing, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”)**** SEE ALSO: Roswila’s Dream & Poetry Realm for Tarot poetry; Roswila’s Taiga Tarot for taiga (illustrated tanka); and Yahoo DREAMJIN: Group for Dreamku – Haiku-Like Dream Poems.****